Refracting Grief's Darkness Through Light
In April of 2024, the unexpected happened—I lost someone I loved. If you’ve experienced grief or been there for someone going through it, you know how difficult it is. In the months after my dad passed away, and I began to crawl out of the hole that I was wedged into, I started praying about what I could do to pass the time in my grief.
In my 1,000th hour of “doom-scrolling” on TikTok, I came across a video of a girl making stained glass. It was beautifully edited with calming music and sounds of little cracks and breaks of the glass. As I watched and listened, it seemed like a relaxing craft, but also one that you needed to fully tune your brain into, with no distractions.
That sounded like the craft for me! I started doing a deep dive into more videos and discovered there are many stained-glass creators on social media. To my surprise, a lot of them were beginners and self-taught.
I spent the summer watching tutorials, gathering materials, and saving money. I quickly found out that stained glass is not a cheap or simple hobby! And then, in August 2024, when I felt my grief overtaking me, and I desperately needed to channel my energy into something—I began my new craft.
God created all of us with specific talents, whether physical or spiritual, and I truly feel that he created me with a natural draw to the arts, knowing how well it would serve me. He knew that stained glass would be the creative outlet I needed to transform my pain into something beautiful. Seeing the cast of light through the glass, breaking something apart and making it whole again yet into something entirely new, melting the solder, and forming the pieces together one at a time…the entire process is beautiful, slow, sometimes painful, but so rewarding.
In my 1,000th hour of “doom-scrolling” on TikTok, I came across a video of a girl making stained glass. It was beautifully edited with calming music and sounds of little cracks and breaks of the glass. As I watched and listened, it seemed like a relaxing craft, but also one that you needed to fully tune your brain into, with no distractions.
That sounded like the craft for me! I started doing a deep dive into more videos and discovered there are many stained-glass creators on social media. To my surprise, a lot of them were beginners and self-taught.
I spent the summer watching tutorials, gathering materials, and saving money. I quickly found out that stained glass is not a cheap or simple hobby! And then, in August 2024, when I felt my grief overtaking me, and I desperately needed to channel my energy into something—I began my new craft.
God created all of us with specific talents, whether physical or spiritual, and I truly feel that he created me with a natural draw to the arts, knowing how well it would serve me. He knew that stained glass would be the creative outlet I needed to transform my pain into something beautiful. Seeing the cast of light through the glass, breaking something apart and making it whole again yet into something entirely new, melting the solder, and forming the pieces together one at a time…the entire process is beautiful, slow, sometimes painful, but so rewarding.
This process is similar to my grief journey. I know there will never be a day that everything will suddenly be okay, but there will be days that I can look at each finished piece of my healed self with pride, knowing I’m moving forward. I made it through the first year, and it’s rewarding to see the ways I’m growing and healing.
Did I fully know what I was getting into when I started this hobby and how hard it would be? Probably not. Has it been the most rewarding art form I have ever learned? Absolutely. I think back to a day a few years ago when my dad I and were roaming an antique shop together, as we often did, and we both admired a stained-glass window leaning against a wall. We “oo’d” and “awe’d” over the piece. I told him, “One day, I’m going to learn how to make that.” I didn’t know that day would come so soon, or that my dad wouldn’t get to see me create it, but I know he is in Heaven, gleaming as he watches me on this journey.
Did I fully know what I was getting into when I started this hobby and how hard it would be? Probably not. Has it been the most rewarding art form I have ever learned? Absolutely. I think back to a day a few years ago when my dad I and were roaming an antique shop together, as we often did, and we both admired a stained-glass window leaning against a wall. We “oo’d” and “awe’d” over the piece. I told him, “One day, I’m going to learn how to make that.” I didn’t know that day would come so soon, or that my dad wouldn’t get to see me create it, but I know he is in Heaven, gleaming as he watches me on this journey.
Stained glass has literally and metaphorically shined a new light into my life. I can’t wait to see how I improve in the future and what I will do next with this craft that God divinely placed in my life at exactly the right time.
Follow along on my journey: @SterlingsGlass on Instagram.
Follow along on my journey: @SterlingsGlass on Instagram.
